The Boy Outside.
Written By: Kyra Picazo
I love the silent nights. I want to live in a utopian world where I’m not told to do anything, where being you is acceptable. But in this world nothing is. Living is hard when you are the center of everything. My life wasn’t as perfect before you came (Keyword: wasn’t). Until you left and I only knew you as the boy outside.
Dear Diary,
June 11, 2014
I feel as if the life I’m living isn’t meant to be for me. Maybe one day I’ll be treated better, or at least I hope so. There’s a new kid at school. We probably won’t end up talking. He’s fairly cute he’s a “jock” I guess, I’m not so sure what to call him but that might describe him best. Oh, and the thing I said about us probably not talking is TRUE! How could he talk to a girl like me? Well I better go.
-B.R.
Walking down the school halls is probably the worst thing during the day, just the fact that everyone is watching you. Why would they be watching me? Well that’s the reason I’m writing this. It all started when I was in chemistry, I was writing notes like I normally would then everyone’s phone started to buzz. My phone didn’t go off (it never does anyway). It turns out there was a party next Friday at John Ruek’s house, who’s John you might be asking? Well he’s my twin; I’m older than him by 2 minutes. He’s having a secret party while our parents are out of town for a few weeks.
It’s Friday and that means the party is today. Everyone is excited, and again I’m like the odd one out. It’s 9:00 pm and everyone is here, I’m trying to look as good as I can but I can’t seem to know what I want to wear. I go downstairs maybe 30 minutes later, everyone was dancing, screaming, and acted like they didn’t know how to be responsible. Then I looked over to my right and there they were Cindy and Remedy the two most beautiful, guy-magnets, you’d ever see. They walked right over to me and we started to talk “I wanna make you one of us” said Cindy “Yeah, like, you’d be perfect for our group.” “Really?” I said with a confused look on my face. “Yeah seriously, do you wanna come over tonight and we can give you a makeover or something if you want?” I thought that was the most typical girl movie scene ever. But of course I had to say “Yeah! I’d love to!” And that night had changed me forever.
Dear Diary,
June 14, 2015
It’s been a year since the party. And it’s been a year since I’ve written in this. I have no exciting things except for me being apart of the popular group!! I know hard to believe after what I’ve been through. Oh, and I have a boyfriend to! His name is Cody. We met a few months ago, than we started to date 2 weeks later. I invited a few friends to come over tonight hopefully no drinking will happen. I just get tired of it cause that’s ALL we do. Well talk to you later.
-B.R.
When all my friends got here we all just relaxed and watched a movie. Then things started to get way out of control. Random people from different schools started to show up. There was too much happening, there was drinking, smoking, and to much people. So I went to my room I didn’t even care anymore just as long as they were gone before my parents got home. I was taking a shower and all of a sudden I hear someone come into my bedroom. I didn’t know who it was. I finished my shower and went out to talk to him. It was Shawn. Him and me were friends when we were kids until he moved away. “What are you doing in my room?” “Oh I’m sorry, I just had to get away from that party it was to crazy.” He said. “So you came to my room?” I said with a laugh. I didn’t think much of him showing up. I thought it was cool to see him and catch up. “Well yeah, it’s quiet here” he said with a little smile. “Well you can stay.” “Thanks” A few minutes later I heard yelling and thumping and I had a feeling that it was. It was Cody! “Oh Reena” “Oh no!” I said frantically. “You need to hide now!” “Where??” “Anywhere but in here!””Reena? You in here?” “Yeah, I’m right here”. “Oh there you are! Why aren’t you coming down to the party?” “I’m just not in the mood I guess…” “Oh okay then. Bye.” “Bye”. “You can come out now.” I waited for a response but there was none. “Hello? Shawn?” I looked where he was hiding which was my closet. No one was there. “Shawn??” “Where are you?” He was gone. I didn’t know how he left because there’s no way out besides my bedroom door and I was standing right by it the whole time.
A few days later it was Tuesday. We were at school and I was asking people if they knew Shawn. They all said no. So I went to look at all of the yearbooks. This is where it got weird, when I was looking in the yearbooks I found him. But he was in the early 2000’s years (2005-2006) and he looked the same way he did when I saw him. I then went to go do some research. I found out that he was 15 the same age as me when we both were in school. Then I clicked on our local newspaper website. I saw that he was dead. How could I not know? He dead right after school ended it said, “Shawn Witer was killed on Saturday night the day after school ended. He was found in a ditch on the side of the highway after he was missing for 24 hours. The suspects of the murder are still unknown but when they are found they will be sent to prison”. Then after I read the article I found this “Shawn Witer Suspects Found” I had to read it. “Shawn Writer suspects were found one year later after the incident. They were found in a frat house. Both of the suspects were 15 and Shawn’s best friends. How could they ever do this you might ask? Well it all happened because Shawn wouldn’t steal his parent’s car and go to a party on fifth and lane St. He then decided to go. They arrived at the house 15 minutes later; Shawn didn’t feel all right so he went upstairs into a quiet room. He then wanted to leave but his friends were too drunk to walk. He left them and went home. Later on that night he went back to go see if his friends were okay. He saw them and they then began to get angry and beat him to death. They then dropped him off at a ditch and left him.”
When I read that I was shocked. Know why? Well because my house is on fifth and lane St. and when we moved in this house was a frat house and we had to clean up their party mess. And that room he went into to get away from the noise was mine. I soon went home and went into my room. I tried to forget about it but I couldn’t. I felt like I was being haunted and it was scary. I was home alone when I hear the doorbell ring. I went downstairs to answer it but no one was there. I didn’t know who it was but I had a feeling it was the kids that live down the street. But then all of a sudden it rang again I ran to the door to see who it was but no one was there. Keep in mind it was 9:00 pm. I turned the porch light on and no one was there again. I went to hide on the side of the door incase they did it again but nothing happened till I was half way up the stairs 5 minutes later. I saw somebody standing outside but I couldn’t clearly see whom it was. I went down the stairs and opened the door. It was Shawn. I had a surprised look on my face. His face was calm and beautiful. I didn’t know what to do so I just invited him in with no talking just motions.
We started talking. For a while we would just look at each other with no words it was just silent. “Well I better go home now.” “Why? You just got here.” “My parents are expecting me.” “What parents?” I said to myself quietly. “What?” “Oh nothing.” He smiled and after that I never saw him again. After a month past I’ve had forgotten about it until one day I was at the movies with my friends and I saw him standing outside watching me. I turn away and look back after a minute, he was gone. We went into the theater and got a spots. The movie started and it was weird because Shawn was in it. I started to get freaked out and left. I ran to my car but right before I unlocked it Shawn was down the street. I screamed, “Leave me alone!” and got into my car and drove as fast as I could. I got back home and couldn’t believe what happened, the movie had him getting beat and put on the side of the street. And the part that I thought was weird was I was the only one who saw it. I close my eyes and lay on my bed. I woke up in the middle of the night to hearing someone in my closet. I go over and see whom it was. I scream it was Shawn. I quickly grab the closet object to me and hold it up as if I’m from a scary movie. “Is he gone?” He said with a smirk. “What are you talking about? Leave me alone! Please!” I say throwing stuff on the ground while trying to get away. “I just want to talk. I know you know.” I stop. I look at him with a somewhat confused face.
He told me what happened the night he died. He said that the paper was lying; he said his friends would never do that to him. He then told me he commented suicide because he couldn’t deal with anyone. I look at him like I had done wrong. I didn’t know what to say all I did was show facial expressions. I lay on my bed and went back to sleep. I woke up and saw a piece of paper on the door. I got up to look at it; it had an address. I threw it away because I didn’t care. But ever since I threw it away I haven’t been able to sleep. My head would hurt or I would get really sick but I would always be fine during the day. On July 15th 2015 I started having bad dreams, I knew the first date because I’ve been tracking them. I get them every Wednesday when I go to sleep at 10:30PM and I wake up from them on Thursday at 6:00AM. Also those nightmares are always the same and they aren’t about Shawn. It’s about a place that’s horrible, a place where no one wants to go. Hell. I don’t know why my dreams are like that but they just are.
There is a quote I see all the time on Instagram “Monsters are real, ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes they win. –Stephen King” I didn’t normally believe but when I found out he died and came back I’m starting to have second thoughts. I’m losing all my friends and my life is becoming more complicated I can’t get him out of my head. I’m never wanting to go to school anymore and the one I love, love’s my best friend. I lost myself because of him. I don’t get texts anymore for when the next party is or called to hangout. After my break down of everything I go outside on my porch swing. My mom and dad pull up with a very sad look on their face. They walk up to me and say “Reena, we need to tell you something.” My mom starts crying and my dad starts to tear up. “What?” I say. Mom says, “We don’t know how to tell you this. I’m still trying to process this in my head on how it happened.” “What?” I say getting a little annoyed. “Well, oh god.” Dad says. He starts crying more “Your. Your brother is. Is dead.” They both start crying. “Look now Reena I know you and him were close but-“ “How? How did he die?” I say with all the anger inside me trying to pull back the tears. “Drugs. He died form an overdose an hour ago.” “No I don’t believe you!” I run up to my room and bury myself in my pillows crying.
I never thought my life would be bad. I turned into this messed up teenager.
